Disclaimer
The Improv Underground comedy troupe aka “Random Acts of Comedy” aka “The RAOC” and its parent company “Fat Tony Inc.” would like it to be known that at some point in this evenings performance you, someone you know, or someone who simply looks like you may in fact become offended by something that is said, performed, suggested, imitated, insinuated, delegated, or perpetrated by a member of the aforementioned “Group”. Let us reassure you that we do not intend to offend anyone on the basis of: gender, race, color, religion, background, sexual preference, education, mental ability, age, weight, height, health, financial status, number of children, number of parents, number of siblings, number of in-laws, number of ex’s, number of mysterious voices you hear, number of alien abductions you’ve experienced, number of times you’ve been arrested for indecent exposure, number of cats, type of car you drive, how often you call in sick to work but are really faking it, frequency of times you’ve been asked to leave the all you can eat buffet, number of lottery tickets you purchase each week even though you know you’ll never win, age of your computer, amount of time you spend each week playing online video games, number of times you had to take your driving test, number of times you’ve seen Monty Python Search for the Holy Grail, your ability to: use a map, use a compass, turn on a computer or program your VCR, the fact that you still use a VCR, the fact that you know what a VCR is, or the fact that you still prefer “Beta Max” tapes, the unusual nature of your vegan, vegetarian, or carnivores’ diet, halitosis, hearing impairments, visual impairments, visual or non visual handicaps, number of years it took you to get the chicken crossing the road joke, the fact that you still don’t get the chicken crossing the road joke, the fact that you think the chicken crossing the road joke is the pinnacle of comic genius, clothing style, hair style, lack of hair, lack of style, lack of clothes, prescription medications taken, prescription medications you should be taking, age you quit wearing diapers, average time spent using the bathroom, stinkyness of the bathroom after you leave it, cooking skills, lack of cooking skills, eating skills, attractiveness of your body in a swimming suit, amount of money offered to you by strangers to put more clothes on at the beach, grayness of your hair, wrinkles of skin, number of eyes, number of limbs, political affiliation, political disaffiliation, political disassociation, or weather or not you voted for Bush, Clinton, Kerry, Gore, McCain, or Obama, well actually we do kind of try and offend people on that last one, number of chick flicks that you’ve cried at this week, pounds of chocolate you eat to feel better, how many push-ups you can do, your mortgage, your stock portfolio, your kid on Honor Roll, your Kid that’s not on honor roll, your secret obsession with Enrique Iglesias, your beanie baby collection, or your ability to recite word for word every Star Wars Movie made (Cause hey…. May the force be with you!), and finally your ability to grasp, understand, and enjoy the subtle and pure comic perfection that you’re about to witness. In short, the only people we intend to offend are those people who are to dim-witted or stuck up to realize that life, is funny, if you’re one of those people who are intent to be offended by everything anyone says then boy do we have a show for you! And now put your hands together because Fat Tony presents, The RAOC just off their “Community Service Tour”, give it up for Improv Underground!!!
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